February 3, 2025, 8:07 pm
I want to say maybe 2 days ago I heard God say to read Job and for those who have been following me on this grief journey you know that this was a book in the Word that I was trying to stay away from just because I know Job pain and to be honest sometimes encountering the same pain as you can release certain emotions that I try to keep tucked away. But if I can say one thing that I know about God, it is that his timing of things is perfect, we might not understand it but it’s perfect.
So I read Job 2:8 and a few things stood out to me when I asked the Lord what I should write he said to tell them how you worshipped me when you felt the pain that day you got confirmation that it was Johsua’s body that had been found.
It was September 24, 2021, and my cousin had come to my house that night I went up to my room with her and we talked about what I had known so far and then I fell to my knees in tears telling her that I had to worship because God was still Good and that all I knew to do. Now that I think about it I don’t remember why I did it at that moment but I knew that it had saved me.
Job 1:20-21 20 Then Job arose, tore his robe, shaved his head, and fell on the ground and worshipped. 21 He said, ‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return there; the Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.
Job made a decision that I wonder if he understood as his heart ached for the blessings that the Lord had given him.
Worship I heard God say for the battle is mine
Joshua’s killers will never understand what they did to me when they decided that they were going to take his life. I will close this I was not planning to write tonight but felt like I had to share this word with someone whatever it is that you are feeling at this moment you don’t know what to do just worship with the anger and tears because God will meet you where you are. While Johsua killers are still out there living their lives I pray for them and ask God to keep helping me forgive because one day they will see God and I know that they too will desire forgiveness. The enemy used them to try to steal my joy but when Joshua passed, God spoke to me and said, “Yes, Joshua brought me joy, but true joy can’t be found in earthly vessels.”
I decree over my life and family Nehemiah 8:10 that the Joy of the Lord is our strength and encourage my readers that until God calls us home no matter what we face just “Worship”.