Zechariah 4:6
So, he answered and said to me:
“This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel:‘ Not by might nor by power,
but by My Spirit,’ Says the Lord of hosts.“
Psalm 24:8
Who is this King of glory?
The Lord strong and mighty,
The Lord mighty in battle.
Father let your people see and hear you when reading this post. May their eyes be open with understanding so that they will know that you Change not, and your word remains the same.
It has been 250 days since you have been gone and I still do not understand why we are be apart. I walk past your pictures everyday and wonder why this must be my testimony. All I have is pictures and memories that I hope wont fade. But the Lord is my Strength and my Salvation, and I know because of him better days are coming. I look at your blanket from time to time and it hurts me that I will never lay it over my grandchild that should have come from your loins, but the Lord is faithful.
My son you are missed, and I hate that this happened to you. Sometimes I wonder if my readers can feel my pain but know that I do not want them to because this is too much to carry.
I was listening to “It Is Well” by Bethel Music the other day and although I know that God is faithful, I cannot help but wonder when it will truly be well for me and my children. To know that I am going to grow old without Joshua is crazy to me. No more hugs, kisses or late-night phone calls asking me if I am good. It hurts guys it really hurts. I feel alone most of the time and I know its because you are not here.
Lord, please answer my silent prayer
While listening to “It is well” the chorus really stuck out to me. ”So let go my soul and trust in Him, the waves and wind still know His name” This part of the song really resonates with me because I was hit with a wave so gigantic but the one who controls the wind has upheld me with his righteous right hand.
I want people to know that everything is not a bed of roses, and the turmoil is real, but it has not and can not overtake me because of the one I serve. I have given him permission to help me and know that I can do nothing without him including right this post. So, I trust him and go to him for my daily bread.
I remember when it first happen, I was nervous. Every time the phone rang, I was hoping that it would be the police saying that they caught them, but it was not so. For the first time in a long time, it felt like my life was in a whirlwind and I had no peace. My emotions were all over the place and I felt like I did not know whose I was anymore.
I tried to read but could not focus, wanted to pray but the words would not come out. The enemy had me right were he wanted me or at least he thought he did.
Psalm 23:4 says Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
2 Corinthians 4:8-10 reads We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed— 10 always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.
This is a verse that I would pray over myself from the moment I knew Joshua was gone. And I know that this word went ahead of me and did what it was supposed to do. I want my readers to know that this season is hard, but it will not destroy us. Without Gods word I would not be able to say this. He gives me a strength and peace that can not be explained but I am thankful for it.
2 Chronicles 7:14 if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.
The Lord hears our cries and wants you to know that they do not fall on deaf ears. This season of having unanswered questions is coming to a halt. Justice is coming to my children says your heavenly Father.
Swift Justice I hear the Lord saying. To many fathers are crying and to many mothers are missing a child.
Peace is something that I have found while meditating on the word of God. Feeling sad and down is natural but know that this the place that God wants us to remain. So, what is your Pain Plan? If you do not have one go back and read my post called “What the Grief“. In this post you will see why it is important to have plan and why executing it in this season is mandatory.
For me praying and reaching out for prayer has really helped. One might say I do not know how to pray; I want you to know prayer is just a conversation where you open you mouth and start speaking to God just like we do with our friends. Sometimes you may not have the words to pray but know that God knows what your feeling, and it is in those moments with tears in my eyes that I say Lord I do not have the words, but I am asking you to help me.
I have also found that being specific in my prayers has also worked. Example if I feel anxious, I will find a verse that deals with anxiety. One that comes to mind is Philippians 4:6-7 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Personal Prayer
Lord this road is not easy and its full of many twists and turns and sometimes I want to give up. But just like Paul on the road to Damascus would you meet us there and change our perspective. Open our eyes with understanding and gratitude in our season and help us to learn from you. Cause us to have a better understanding of what it means when you say your yoke is easy and my burden is light.
I am sad Lord because on June 16th I will not see Joshua walk across that stage to receive his diploma, but I trust your word when you say that all things work together for the good of those that love you and them who are called according to your purpose. (Romans 8:28)
To my readers milestones have been missed and will continue to come and go but know that God is a refuge when these moments come. Lean on him, and draw strength from the King of Glory in those times of weakness.
I pray that the Lord will keep you in perfect peace and that your minds will be set on Jesus. For we know that weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.
Song of the week-Highs & Lows | Hillsong Young and Free
Mighty One (feat. Todd Dulaney & Maryanne J. George)
Hunger (Feat. MDSN) – David & Nicole Binion
I do not own any rights to the music
Lord, I Pray for the minds of my readers and that they will know that you are real. I pray that they will lay down this burden and know that they can have rest in you. Also, that they will have faith that Justice would come and seek you while you may be found in Jesus Mighty Name. Your word say in Philippians 1:6 that He that began a good work will finish it. Complete what you have started Lord we are waiting on you.
Until next time draw strength from the one who is able
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