This week has been filled with many ups and downs; I’m really trying to get focused again.
Last night I attended the Maverick city music concert here in Toronto. I needed that outing but didn’t even realize it until about halfway through the concert. There is something about being in the presence of the Lord.
During the concert I remember having the feeling like why did I even come. Which was a feeling that I also had when I was home getting ready #Thedevilisaliar.
But now that I look back, I am happy that I went and can’t believe that I felt that way especially seeing that worship is my go-to when feeling down. When my friend told me that she purchased the tickets I heard the Lord say to me this verse that David said in Psalm 122:1 “I was glad when they said unto me, let us go into the house of the LORD.”
Something was said yesterday at the concert by Anthony Evans who is the son of Pastor Tony Evans, I really want us who are grieving to start implementing this statement. He was talking about a time when he was having a hard season and did not want to do anything. He shared that he went to speak to his father to get some advice. His dad made a comment to him that he said he will never forget and that was “That your emotions have no Intellect.” So therefore, we are not to allow our feelings to dictate what we do or don’t do. And so, we praise God despite what we are feeling because the Truth of the matter is, God is still faithful and his grace is sufficient for you, for his power is made perfect in weakness- 2 Corinthians 12:9 specially in a tough season.
They sang a couple of songs that I normally listening to and while they were playing the Lord was speaking to me based on what I was hearing. But it was when they began to sing Jireh which is a very personal song for me because this is the song that was sung at Joshua funeral. The Lord just began to speak to me about past conversations I had with him but also about Joshua passing and how it has really affected me. And I began to cry instantly because one of the things that I always bring up to the LORD is if I will ever get back to being that confident, Bold lioness that I was last year. I remember a picture of myself that I shared last year, and the caption was.
Many times, in prayer the Lord would tell me to forget about the past and I would respond to him But Lord as if he did not know what I had experienced. He started leading me in prayer along with fasting and I started to receive deliverance but more importantly HEALING. If you know God, you know that he is a GOD of order and always on Time and for the first time in my life I can say with confidence that I am HAPPY and I know that its all because of Him, August 8TH 2021.
Last year I really saw the move of God in my life, and then Joshua died. I would not go as far as saying that my foundation is shattered because Christ can not be moved. But what I will say is that I feel like something came and push me off and I am on the edge with one foot on trying to gather enough strength to make that roll back over onto the platform #Thedevilisaliar.
I will only share some of what GOD said to me and that is not being secretive but using “Wisdom.”
God reminded me of who I am and how although Joshua is gone that does not change my Identity and who he has called me to be.
I am whole, Well and more then a conqueror -Romans 8:37
God also reminded me that I have the victory and that he has me right in the Palm of his hand. While crying at the concert he also to me said something that made me cry even more and it was at that moment that the – Breaker did what he said he would do #Setfree.
He said to me that I do not need to hide my feeling from him. Some would say I am a strong person and when I do cry, I usually wipe my tears quickly so that others will not see. But as I was doing that yesterday God reminded me that he was the one that allow me to release my first cry when he separated me from my mother’s womb and that its okay to be real with him because he knew me from my start.
Yesterday Was a Reset for Me
· Have you been hiding what you are feeling from the one who created you?
· Have you been carrying feelings that you do not want anyone to know about?
· Have you been acting like everything is okay knowing that your one step away from falling apart? #GiveittotheLord
Father, I thank you for the revelation yesterday and doing what only you can do. Lord, I bring my readers before you. Would you speak to them just like you did to me. Let them know that this road of grief does not have to be one of bondage but that they can be set free from whatever it is that they are feeling because there is freedom in you #FRESHSTART.
Please go listen to “TAKE ME BACK” by MAVERICK CITY MUSIC I pray that this will be your #FRESHSTART.
Tomorrow June 16th is the day that Joshua would have graduated from his carpentry program. Lord, please take this sadness that I have because I will not get to see him dance across that stage. I make an exchange with you right now and take your yoke upon me because it easy and your burden is light (Matthew 11:28)
While Joshua will not walk across that stage my prayer is that for those that will. I pray that when his classmate think about him that you would comfort them. I pray that they will know that they are blessed for the fact that they still have life and life more abundantly. I pray that Jesus will reveal himself to them and they will go on to secure the jobs that they desire and that you have spoken over them before the foundation of the world.
Worship is a weapon so when you feel like you do not have the words to pray, I strongly encourage you to put on some worship music and sing until your heart is full while the Lord satisfies your thirst.
Read Psalm 63 and Lord continue to give them strength
Lord give them the reset that they need whether it be sleep, strength or financial support you know what each household needs, and I trust that you will do it because you are a Good, Good Father.
Songs of the week
· Most Beautiful by Maverick city music
· My Soul sing by Maverick city music
· Promise by Maverick city music
· Jireh by Maverick city music
· Wont he do it by Koryn Hawthorne
· You waited by Travis Greene
I do not own any rights to the music
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Until next time stay Blessed
#JOSHUASMOM
#JUSTICEFORJOSHUABENNETT
#THECARPENTERSMOTHER