The storage room that holds Joshua’s belongings is being cleaned out and some of his stuffs were taken out and not put back so now his scent is fading. It hurts me. I stopped smelling his shirts a couple of months ago, but what I do know is that I don’t want his scent to disappear.
Lord why is all I keep thinking; I hate that this is life. I honestly don’t know how people manage this. I often think about all the other mothers in my city that have lost a child #Iamprayingforyou
Lord comfort us, help us its hard. I hate crying but that is the only way I can release the pain that I have, that is the only way I feel it really comes out. It hurts but I still worship because that is where I find my contentment. God keeps telling me that better days are coming– I often wonder what that will look like seeing that I am missing a child physically; but what I do know is that I can’t wait to experience it #Griefisdraining.
As I was writing this, I heard the Lord say the name Abraham, so I turned to my Bible and open the book to Genesis. Chapter 15:4-6 stood out to me, titled Abrahams Promise an Heir. Genesis 15:4-6 says and behold, the word of the Lord came to him, saying, “This one shall not be your heir, but one who will come from your own body shall be your heir.” 5 Then He brought him outside and said, “Look now toward heaven, and count the stars if you are able to number them.” And He said to him, “So shall your descendants be. 6 And Abram believed the Lord, and the Lord counted him as righteous because of his faith.
So, you can see that a word was given to Abraham about being blessed with a child, but something stood out to me, and it was what he said in verse 6 “and he believed in the Lord, and it was counted to him for righteousness”. There have been times where I am pondering about life and what is next for me and my children especially now that Joshua is gone. I still have many dreams and aspirations and when I think about them, I hear God say Do Not Doubt, Remember My Promise. If I were to sit here and tell you that I do not doubt at times that would be a complete lie. I am not here to create a fantasy for my viewers. I want people to know that the pain and sadness that I feel is real. Some days I am up and other days I am down but one thing I know and believe in my heart is that God is going to get us though this #HEHASTO its his word.
So yes, I am sad that Joshua’s scent is fading but I have a hope that what God said about better days coming is going to come to pass. In the meantime, I will continue to seek and when I get there, I will continue to praise him because regardless of what has happened the Lord is still faithful and has not lied nor withheld his promise.
So, I Press on And Will Continue to Pick Up This Rugged Cross and Carry It Daily
Lord increase my faith and help me believe without hesitation. Help your children know that what we are feeling for the moment wont always last.
Please read Isaiah 43 and I pray that you will see the Fathers love. If you do not own a Bible that is fine, this might prompt you to get one just encase you want to go back and seek on your own. There were so many beautiful and uplifting words spoken here by the Lord. I just thought that I would share a few with you that really touched me as I was reading.
Isaiah 43: 1-3 say When you go through deep waters,
I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
you will not be burned up;
the flames will not consume you.
3 For I am the Lord, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I gave Egypt as a ransom for your freedom;
I gave Ethiopia[a] and Seba in your place.
Personal reflect -Jireh you are enough
What verses 1-3 said to me while I was reading it is that no matter what happens in life the Lord will not let it overtake me that way it intended to. The waves of grief will not drown me, the fire that came to minimize me will not consume me because of My Savior.
Verse 4 goes on to say – OTHERS WERE GIVEN IN EXCHANGE FOR YOU. I TRADED THEIR LIVES FOR YOURS BECAUSE YOU ARE PRECIOUS TO ME.YOU ARE HONORED, AND I LOVE YOU.
Can we just look back at the words that God used in this verse, is that not a great expression of his Love?
Now what originally brought me to Isaiah 43 as I was writing was the word he spoke to my spirit. Isaiah 43:18-19 It says
18 Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
19 See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and river in the desert.
Things may seem like they are going to remain this way but that is a lie, and we know this because nothing remains the same.
God give your people strength and a hope to hang in there to know that better days are coming and not because I said so but BECAUSE YOU SAID IT.
Songs of the Week
· Intentional- Travis Greene
· Show me your Glory -Brandon Lake
· Gratitude-Brandon Lake
· Fill me up -Tasha Cobbs
· Spirit Breakout-William McDowell Feat Trinity Anderson
· Sunday -Koryn Hawthrone
I do not own any rights to the music
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#JUSTICEFORJOSHUABENNETT
#THECARPENTERSMOTHER