I remember the day the Lord told me to create this blog. I remember thinking to myself but saying to him “This means I am going to have to share my feelings and that is something that I was not used to doing at least on an open platform.
2 Timothy 1:7 reads “For God hath not given us a Spirit of fear, but of power and love, and of a sound mind.
If you were to ask anyone close to me about what type of person I am, I would hope that kind is one of the attribute that they would use to describe me. Why is this important? because a gentle and kind spirit is an attribute that Christ demonstrated while on earth. It is the father’s nature and remember that Jesus only did what he saw his father doing (JOHN5:19)
But what I see in myself is that I can be fearless and bold at times when it comes to speaking on certain subject, but here I am hiding my feeling and really do not understand why and from whom. (Personal moment).
Lord your word says in Joshua 1:9 that you have commanded me to be Bold and courageous and that I do not need to fear because you are with me wherever I go. You Lord have given me the strength to write down what has been spoken to me in our private time. You have given me authority to write on this matter. There are many that are dealing with a loss one way or another and your revelation is needed each week. I pray that as you continue to use me that you will open this treasure chest that you have placed deep down inside me and that lives will be changed all for your glory.
While in a session yesterday with my grief counsellor I came to the realization that me speaking does not necessarily mean that I am dealing with issues and pain that Joshua has done to me, especially if I am not verbally communicating the hurt that came with it.
I have been reading this book by David Burrus called “The Blueprint” and there is a chapter called “Healed without scars” – Matters of the heart. In the book the author touches on how people have become hoarders. Some of physical objects but others of emotional pain and trauma that has been caused by one occurrence or matter in life.
Trauma- a deeply distressing or disturbing experience. “a personal trauma like the death of a child”
Losing Joshua was not my first experience with a violent death, but I hide it well. When I was 20 years old my friend was gunned down inches from me. I remember while being driven home after they had put his lifeless still body in the ambulance not knowing if he was going to make it; thinking to myself where do I go from here? I laid in my bed for days reminiscing about our fun times and how he had made an impact on my life without me even realizing it. But shortly after things went back to normal for me and it was not that I did not miss my friend, it was that I did not know what to do or how to cope and just like that the walls of my heart closed that chapter without even grasping what it had just been done to my life. Dealing with situations like this and not being taught how to be aware of my emotional capacity is not something I have seen discussed enough in my community, but this is just based on my personal experience.
David Burrus writes that, and I quote him “There are many of us that have places in our hearts and emotions that are deteriorating, and we will not do anything about it. We have become masters of disguise, finding ways to hide and cover up the emotional sickness that has becomes a cancer in our hearts”.
He continues to say “that whether it be from growing up fatherless, abandon or losing a child to a vicious crime that we have become what he like to reference “Emotional Hoarders”?
Matthew 11:28-30 Jesus tells us in the Amplified bible
28 “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavily burdened [by religious rituals that provide no peace], and I will give you rest [refreshing your souls with salvation]. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me [following Me as My disciple], for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest (renewal, blessed quiet) for your souls.
30 For My yoke is easy [to bear] and My burden is light.”
Rest- cease work or movement in order to relax, refresh oneself, or recover strength.
Modern day science suggest when dealing with a traumatic event that prescribed pills are the remedy. Take 1 of this and a little of that before going to bed and it will all be okay. And if this is what is needed to sooth your soul keep doing it but why I bring this up is because I want to show you something interesting that the Lord taught me while learning to cope in my everyday life.
When Joshua first pasted, I remember feeling down and I asked God why and he spoke something to me that I will continue to carry with me for the rest of my life on this journey. He said to me look back at the scriptures you have read and see where (my) people have not experience with what you are dealing. Do you think that you are the first one to lose a child he asked? But am I not still your savior God? #Yahweh
God Was Right and what I needed to remember was just like he helped them deal with their matters he was here to help me.
God sent his son not only to die for our sins which you can see in Hebrews 9:22 but also to carry every heavisome thing that we would face here on earth.
#OurfeelingsmattertoGOD
Personal Prayer and Devotion
Lord to whom all Glory, honour and praise belongs. Help us to remove self from our circumstances and leave room for you to enter right into the middle of it. We can not carry this heavy load; we can not tend to the cancerous heart only you can. We can do nothing with out you.
John 15:5 says I AM the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in me and I in him bear much fruit, because apart from be you can do nothing.
May hearts be open, and lives surrendered to receive your healing power. Wont you do it GOD. Remove all emotional and spiritual baggage and we say that we not longer associate ourselves as being Emotional Hoarders. My feelings matter, our future matters have your way Holy Spirit.
Its not by Might, Nor by Power, but by my Spirit says the Lord Almighty.
May God heal you completely
The song of the week is called, and you can share it on YouTube the same way that it is written is “FRESHSTART WORSHIP FEAT SARAI -HAVE IT ALL
I do not own the copyrights to this song
While listening to this song I pray that your heart be open to receive
“Deliverance is the Children’s Bread” say the LORD Matthew 15:26
Lord thank you for your insight and strength to write each week. Help me to let go of all past hurt and pain that tries to keep me in this place of grief.
I hope there was something here that you were able to use in your situation and may God continue to keep you.
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