I am a very straight up person, blunt some would say and when I started this I promised my readers that I would be truthful and honest because without that no relationship can be successful and the foundation is a lie. Which would mean our relationship means nothing and that is far from the truth. Integrity is important to me, and I want my readers to know that everything I post is factual.
To be honest I was not going to write this week, but the Lord said to write about how I am feeling? So, with that being said, I feel depleted.
This journey has been nothing but a rollercoaster. The void I feel is incomparable to anything that I have felt. I said to someone the other day I just wish that I could fast forward to five years from now. I keep hearing the Lord say that better days are coming, and my response is when Lord? Cause I need to know.
Losing Joshua has been tough.
To many they say I am managing this situation well. Am I? I have not been here before to know. But when I lay in bed and go another day without hearing his voice my heart cries. I find a lot of people have so much to say about how I should be managing things but never experienced this before. They say who feels it knows it, but I would not want anyone to feel what I am feeling.
April 26th 9:40 am
I stopped writing yesterday because like I said I was not really in the mood to write. So, I am here in my bed with tears in my eye wondering when this will get better. If there is one thing that I can say about grieving is that you must be careful who you allow in your life, there are many wolves in sheep’s clothing masquerading themselves as if they are here to support you but really came to do more harm.
John 10:10 says -The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.
Because the sad truth is that there are people assigned to your life and the main purpose of them being there is to derail you from getting out of that rabbit hole. And although praying has been extremely hard in this season, I really had to push myself. Staying connected to the source, the true vine is where your strength, wisdom and discernment comes from.
PERSONAL REFLECTION/PRAYER
Lord I am not perfect nor ever will be, I thank you for loving me even when I fall short. Help me to see what I need to see in this season and cause my ears to be open to your voice and your voice alone.
I encourage my readers to pray for yourself even if its just the words LORD HELP.
James 5:16 says that the effectual fervent prayers of a righteous man availeth much.
Lord, you see and know all things. Lord help me in this time of grief surround me with your shield and keep removing the wolves in sheep’s clothing from my life. Give me a double portion of discernment and send forth your healing and sound mind in Jesus name.
One thing that I have found in this season of grieve is that the other parts of your life do not stop. And at times it feels like one thing is on top of the other. But thank God his word is living and active and can be applied to any situation and works.
Matthew 11:28-30 Reads
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Personal Reflection
Lord, you see and know all things and although times are tough, I know that you are here, willing, and able to help me.
To my readers please be patience with yourself and take it easy, Rest when you need to rest and cry when you need to cry. This afternoon I was at McDonalds with my kids, and I heard the Lord say to me “this journey is yours and know one can judge it.” I have been dealing with a lot of outside opinions lately which is weird because not one person that is talking has experience with what I am dealing. But what I am learning again in this season is that the only opinion that matters is Gods, and I need not to let other people’s words weigh me down.
So, we pray not only for ourselves, but for others that Gods peace will overshadow ever situation that is trying to defeat us. We must remember that we are overcomers and have the victory in every situation.
Until next time May God keep you and his peace flood you like a river and guard your heart and love fill those empty places. The Lord is the true vine draw strength from him.
#JOSHUASMOM
#JUSTICEFORJOSHUABENNETT
#THECARPENTERSMOTHER
2 Responses
I appreciate the honesty…God has so much in store for you
Hello, Matthew thank you so much for stopping by and taking the time to read my journey. To be honest a lot of times when I write, I question whether I should be as honest as I am at times because some might not understand. But I have to be; I believe that it is the only way to heal, especially from some things so tragic. But I also think that this is the way that God wants us to be. He understands, and that is an understatement. There is this verse that comes to mind even as I type, and it’s from Hebrews 4:10-15, For he who has entered His rest has himself also ceased from his works as God did from His.
The Word Discovers Our Condition
11 Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest, lest anyone fall according to the same example of disobedience. 12 For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. 13 And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.
Our Compassionate High Priest
14 Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. 15 For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.
It’s verse 15 I would like to highlight, where it says, ” For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.
Matthew, Jesus understands our pain. He faces everything we do; If I can leave you with this word of encouragement: never stop doubting that God has a plan for you no matter the trials and bumps in the road. He says to tell you he has already gone ahead and worked all things out.
God Bless,
The Carpenters Mother