Songs Of the Week
1. Gratitude By Brandon Lake
2. Rattle By Brandon Lake
3. Even When It Hurts by Hillsong United
4. Jesus At the Center by Maverick City Music
(I Do Not Own Any Rights to These Song)
May The Lord Speak to Your Hearts While You Listen
Monday September 19th, was the last day that I saw Joshua in his physical. I had made the trip to Waterloo, Ontario to help him unpack for his final semester in the Carpentry and Renovation Program that he was register for at Conestoga college. I remember while on the 401 west making drive that I had made every other weekend that I asked him are you excited to return? He said nope, but I know I have to finish what I started. Joshua had a passion for creating new things. I saw it in him from an early age and knew that his hands were going to do the will of God. If his life weren’t taken 3 days later that is exactly what he would have done, but his life was tragedy taken by ones who had no consideration nor acuity about how precious one’s life truly is.
Saturday will make one year without him, oh how I miss him dearly. He was taken from me. God you were my strength before that day, and I know you love me. I thank you for your continuous grace, mercy and understanding when I don’t have the words to express what it I that I am feeling. You have given me understanding which has allowed me to forgive but also pray that one day his killers will surrender to your Lord ship. I do not know how to continue but I know that you have me and my family in the palm of your hands and because of that I will no longer worry because you have shown me that I can trust you. #Goodbyeshame #Goodbyefear #ThankyouKingJesus
What the Grief? “The battle is not mine it’s the Lords” is what David said as he was preparing to take down Goliath. Last night as I was reading this story which can be found in 1 Samuel 17:1-58. One thing that stood out to me was the boldness and assurance that David spoke with when he proclaimed what God would do to Goliath. David knew the God he served and trust in Gods ability to know that he was the great deliver and that all hardships should be left in his hand. As I wrote this last sentence, I heard the Lord say seek not vengeance. Please whatever battle you are facing leave it to God to get Justice.
1 Samuel 17:34-36 David when speaking to King Saul said in the New International Version
“(34) But David said to Saul, “Your servant has been keeping his father’s sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, (35) I went after it, struck it, and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it. (36) Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God.
While reading I began to think about my life, going back as far as my earliest thought. All the trials and tribulations that I have faced, and not that anything that I have endured prepared me to handle the death of my son, but I do believe that everything we go through gives us the endurance to jump through the next hurdle. It’s hard but still, I press on and I say this on the strength that my Lord has sustained me with. Ephesians 6:14 says, stand therefore, having girded your loins with truth and having put on the breastplate of righteousness. All power belongs to him and each morning he ignites this fire in me to keep the oil running. Matthew 6:34 says “Take therefore no thought for the morrow, for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Psalms 18:27-29
You save the humble but bring low those whose eyes are haughty. You, Lord turn my darkness in the light. With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall.
This wall of grief that seeks to keep me bound, Hear the voice of the Lord, he command your shaky walls to fall in the name of Jesus. You are not welcome here, nor do you have permission to encampeth around my life. In Luke 10:19 Jesus said “Behold I give you power to tread on serpents and scorpions and over all powers of the enemy: and nothing shall be able to harm you. Here the voice of the Lord this morning and fall like the walls of Jericho in the Mighty name of Jesus. You are bound from my life; no longer will you bring me to my knees. Matthew 11:12 KJV says that “And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force. No longer will I sit aimless under the umbrella of shame and guilt or despair that you have placed over me. Labelling me as victim when I know that this is not who God has called me to be. I have the victory in the mighty name of Jesus. NO weapon formed against me shall prosper. Jesus has given me the victory in every situation and for that I am grateful. Lead me Lord and I will follow because you know what is best for me. I decree that I am whole and well, I will raise and raise well. I will walk and walk well. But most importantly I was write what the Lord has told me and do this well. And there is no principality that can stop the plans of God over my life and the lives of my readers in the name of Jesus.
Lord Jesus keep throwing us that anchor, help us to see the good even in the unpleasant situation. Help us to hold fast to our confession in the Name of your precious son King Jesus.
Joshua death has cause so much pain at times I lay awake at night thinking about last summer not foreseeing that it was going to be our final summer together. How I wish I were given more time to create more memories. If anyone were to ask me, what have I learnt over this past year I would say to be more intentional with my time but also others and to fix or maintain the relationship that God has blessed me with while I still have time.
Romans 12:18 say If it is possible as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
I am thankful that my parental bond with Joshua was strong, he wasn’t only my son but a good friend. Because for one to die and leave the pieces untended I would think would be hard. There is no peace in that is what I often hear from people say wishing they could have made things right while they had the opportunity. If I could leave a word for my viewers to ponder on, I would say go back and see where you could have spoken different in your past or current relationships. Whether it be family or friends and see what areas of repair can be adhered to. Take a closer look and apply the time to heal those wounds, and do it before it is to late. We know not the day nor time our father will call us home, but while we have the chance, I encourage all to do what is right in the eyes of the Lord.
Families, love each other, shoo one another the same grace and mercy that our Father in Heaven has extended to you. Allow people to be people, is what one pastor said to me when I was having a hard time with a fellow member in Christ. We are human you know, and all have flaws.We, live in a wretched society where they scream protect your peace. But my question would be is there really peace in not speaking to your sibling, child, or parent. One who has known your before you took your first step. I wonder if beside the matter at hand for not being in touch is a dash of pride mixed with arrogance. I only ask because I know that has been the center of a lot of my relational breakdowns. But with an open minded and forgiving heart this can change along with someone being willing to be the lesser one and lesser doesn’t mean weaker and honestly who cares if it did! We know that Jesus when he was on earth was despised and reject by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain (Isaiah 53:3) but yet in all that he forgave and used love to remain connected to us. (Wont you forgive just as our father has forgiven us); Lord your name is worthy to be praise I can only write what I hear you speak and often times you blow my mind with what care and dedication that speak though your heart to mine. Pray for wisdom of course and allow God to teach you how to maneuver and set healthy boundaries but stop cutting out the ones that when its all said and done you know really love, care, and appreciate you. We have to remember that life and its circumstances can sometimes change people into someone that truly don’t want to be but without forgiveness and the room to some will not come to the realization that their attitude is a stumbling block and I speak from a personal standpoint as I wrote in my post two weeks ago called “Self Reflection is a Must.” I thank God for his outpouring and that he is refining those very areas in me.
Let him change you, but also let him lead you to show the grace needed to others with enough space for them to get it right. God designed the family unit, and we know based on his word that he makes no mistakes.
2 Samuel 22:31 “God – His way is perfect; the Word of the Lord is pure. He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him.”
I believe that the family unit we are born into plays a significant role in developing just who God has called us to be. Is each member perfect? No, far from it and never will be. But one should know that this is okay and all apart of Gods plan, because if we were born with perfection we would see no need for a savior. We must love regardless of one’s greyed areas and undesirable attributes. If you ask me, flaws is what’s makes a person desire and we much needed in Gods kingdom so that he can show us the way.
God, in Genesis 5 spoke so carefully name each person and role they had coming out of Adams lineage. His family, one by one God called their names proving early on that he a plan and purpose for everyone and to whom they were born. Nothing was unseen, in great detail you gave an account from the least to the greatest. A pivotal, timeless moment in which for such access we call you Holy, Admirable, and earnest. Today would you allow your children that stumble across this site to take note of what you have spoken. Help us to have a greater understanding of who are and who you have called us to be flawed and all. Bloodline is of great importance to you; would you restore the tough relationship in families all across the word today. Sent for your fire and mend the broken piece with great urgency today.
Restore, Restore, restore is what I hear God speak even as I was writing. Where no hope was let it be found. Let your love, let
agape flow from your heart to lead the way when fixing what the enemy desired to be broken. Every lie that was told may it be removed from the heart so that the heal can do what he was sent to do in the Mighty Name of Jesus. Let us not see ourselves as better then anyone. Let us not feel shame to cry out to you in prayer for the restoration of our relationships because you would say in Psalms 51:17 that My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise. Heal us King Jesus, send for your word of completion that we can hold fast to know that what was spoken was done in truth. You have all the answers Lord, lean not on your own understanding is what you spoke to us in Proverbs 3:5-6 in all thy way acknowledge him and he shall direct thy path.
Holy Spirit Lead us and I pray that we would be smart enough to follow
I seal this prayer in the Power of the Holy Spirit, Sustainer A Mighty One
Final remarks
God gave me Joshua for 18 years and for that I am grateful. He was an outstanding young man, and it was truly my greatest joy to know him. Saturday September 24th will be a day that I will never forget, but what I want people to know is that God has been my rock, his ever-lasting power is keeping me and my children, and my remaining family. On the days that the grief really hits us we turn to him in praise and worship and will continue to. I encourage all to do the same no matter the circumstance, what he is for me he wants to be for you. Wont you let him in. I have a sadness that unfortunately I will have to bear, but I also have a joy because of who reigns in my heart #KingJesus.
Please if you know anything speak up you can remain anonymous. Keep not only me and my children in your prayers but also each and every party that has been affected by one’s untimely death.
Until next time God willing, I love you all.
Felisha
#JOSHUAMOM
#THEMOTEROFTHECARPENTER
#JUSTICEFORJOSHUABENNETT
#ALLHAILKINGJESUS