Esther 4:14
14 For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?”
This morning I took my children to Joshua’s gravesite. As I was about five minutes away this feeling came over me and I thought to myself If I had it my way I would never go back to this place, the reason being there is too much hurt there which solidifies that my son is no longer here with us. Some may not agree with why I feel like this, but I am not here to sway anyone into thinking how I think, I am just a mom missing her child while allowing the Lord to show me that being happy again is capable through the teaching and Love of the Holy Spirit. One thing I have learned during this whole experience is that coping with grief can not be manipulated and we have to allow people to process their feelings the way they see fit. I have always been the type of person to block things out when dealing with hurt, as my good friend likes to say block of the Instagram, block of the Facebook, delete, delete, delete; And when done just drink some tea and lay down. Is it right, I don’t know but what I do know is for now I now need to do what I need to to survive along with applying the Word of God to survive this whole ordeal. I just want peace and I know this starts with leaving the past in the past. #Easiersaidthendone
John 14:16-18
And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— 17 the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. 18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.
In the verse above Jesus tells us that he will not leave us comfortless: I will come to you” is his closing statement. Come, Lord come I need you desperately here with me. The weight that this situation has placed on me, and my family is overwhelming. There are so many days like Christmas that we can all be cheerful having a happy moment and then something is said, a song can come on that immediately sends someone into tears and ends the mood. Christmas was very hard for my children but like the saying goes “Who Knows It Feels It”.I need answers and will not stop until I get them, I want to know who killed my Joshua and why.
Hebrews 4:11-13 Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will perish by following their example of disobedience.12 For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. 13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.
As I was reading verse 13 stood out to me “Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.
Heavenly Father, Righteous King hear my cry this afternoon. Expose them, Lord. Open the hearts of those who are holding back the identity of all people involved in this case. I call forth all witnesses concealing information that would crack this case wide open. Fresh fire and fresh wind Blow Lord so that nothing can remain hidden. Lord help the police do what you have called them to do. Bring them forth God so that they can not make another family cry as mine does.
2 Corinthians 3:17
Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom
Lord with every moment going by with their identity being concealed I feel hopeless at times, but then I remember what you spoke to me when you said that they will all be caught. I am putting you in remembrance of your word Isaiah 43:26 and reminding you what you spoke in Luke 8:17-17For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open.
Today was a very hard day, having to watch my children while they try to comprehend why their loving brother is gone. This is something that no mother or father should have to deal with, just a senseless act of crime. I am tired of feeling upset and emotionally drained so I am praying each day that God will help me with this feeling so much so to the point that I don’t carry any of this hurt with me into the new year. I know that it sounds cliché, but you would have to experience this to know what I mean when I say that I don’t want this anymore. I am done and deserve to feel happy and complete again because that is how God designed me to be Healthy, Well, and whole in the Mighty Name of Jesus.
Isaiah 54:16-17
“I have created the blacksmith who fans the coals beneath the forge and makes the weapons of destruction. And I have created the armies that destroy. 17 But in that coming day no weapon turned against you will succeed. You will silence every voice raised up to accuse you. These benefits are enjoyed by the servants of the Lord; their vindication will come from me. I, the Lord, have spoken.
The Lord has spoken in this matter “The weapons formed, but it will not proser #Overit
Songs of the Week: Here waiting sung by Jordan Welch
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