Philippians 4:7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Father, thank you for loving me and holding me up in the hardest season of my life. Your name is worthy to be praised. Your word is life to me an endless stream of living water, I pray in the name of Jesus that you will continue to guide me and my family. This week will you give me the words so that your viewers can have the peace that surpasses all understanding. May hope flood them like a river in Jesus Mighty Name.
Isaiah 59:19
So shall they fear the name of the Lord from the west, and his glory from the rising of the sun. When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord shall lift up a standard against him.
I remember waiting outside with my friend Christine. I was waiting for the police to confirm that it was my son that they found earlier that day. I was thinking how this could have happened if true, but at the same time hoping and praying that they would tell me no and that they had the wrong person. But at 5:43 pm September 24th, 2021, the flood that the bible speaks of came and washed away all the plans I had for me and him. I sill remember all throughout that day being addressed by my name first name by the detectives but when he came back that final time on the phone had called me by my maiden name, I knew something was wrong and just like that my life was forever changed.
I felt like someone had ripped a piece of me away.
Weird thing was I had this peace inside of me. My mind was going, my heart was racing, I had no words to speak but I felt this peace holding me together when all I wanted to do was breakdown. I have so many plans for me and my children. I often think about the future and cannot wait to experience certain milestones with them. Joshua would often talk about his future and the desire to get married and become a father.
“Mom, I know kids are a handful but when I have mine, I am going to be there all the time because they are mine.”
That was what he said to me in one of our last conversations. I always thought he was going to be the one to bless me with my first grandchild and it made me happy because then I would have been able to give that child a blanket that I made for Joshua when I was 6 months pregnant. But I will never get that chance, that was stolen from me. I will never understand why this happen. But Gods peace is helping me learn to deal with it each day.
~Peace~
Freedom from disturbance, Tranquillity
If you look up the Biblical meaning of Peace from the King James Dictionary it says “Freedom from a private quarrel, suit, or disturbance.
This was a public matter but when it comes to me learning how to heal and cope with what has happen it is a private matter. The way one internalizes grief /trauma no one can understand except the person because they are the ones that are walking though the fire. But I give God the Glory and Praise that he walks with me and that his grace is sufficient enough for me because without it I would not be able to stand. (Daniel 3:24-26), (2 Corinthians 12:9)
One could only imagine the hurt that I feel knowing that I will never hear Joshua’s voice again. But each and every time the reality of that sets in I hear God say, “Come to me all who are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”
In order to have peace you must have rest
Some might ask how you are able to find peace when your son is no longer with you? And even as I wrote this I had to pause because I wanted to make sure that my response would shed light on who Jesus is to me but can also be to you if you allow him to shepherd your soul.
~Spirit Of the True God Speak and I Will Write~
My love for you is endless like the sea of forgiveness, I have plans for you, plans to prosper you, and give you an expected end. I see you cry at night know that I am he who hears and have gone ahead of you to work things out.
Rest my child, rest your safe haven is in me. The one true living God protector of your soul.
Everything I just wrote was what I heard my father speak. I pray that each word shattered the lies of the enemy.
Disturbance, something came and disturbed my life. But I receive Gods healing in Jesus Name.
I can only share what has helped me during this extremely difficult time and hope that it will help someone else. Praying has been my most instrumental tool; it has been my lifeline when learning how to manage my emotions. Not only has it calmed me, but it has helped me learn to express myself verbally when it comes to putting what I am feeling into words, it is a release for me. I remember praying earlier this week and when I was done, I felt lite as if I were poured our but in a good way.
I usual talk to God until I have nothing else to say. Literally just casting my burdens on him. I sometimes start of by telling him the way I feel and what I think has led up to me feeling this way. I encourage you to do the same with the promise that he will be able to manage it. We tend to carry difficult weights in life as if it were a badge of honor, but what the Lord has taught me is that this is not the way that it is supposed to be he died for our heavy burdens. (Isaiah 53:5)
Give it to me is what I hear God say
your peace is in me
Lord flood us with your peace this afternoon. I am seeking you not only on my behalf but on behalf of your children. I bind the spirit of frustration in every matter pertaining to each viewers life and loose your peace, real peace. Comfort our minds and souls in a way only you can.
There is this beautiful song that I have been listening to even before Joshua passed it is called “Mvini (Rest in You) by a worship group called We will worship. (I do not own the copywrites to this song)
Find a quiet place when you do get a chance to listen to it, turn off your ringer, and be still. Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling in that moment and let Gods presence do the rest.
I love you and pray that one day the Lord will open a door so that I am able to meet some of you. Please read psalms 23 and know that God is your rock of defence.
Until next time stay blessed safe and continue to call on the Holy One.
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