Act 27:30-34
30 Then the sailors tried to abandon the ship; they lowered the lifeboat as though they were going to put out anchors from the front of the ship. 31 But Paul said to the commanding officer and the soldiers, “You will all die unless the sailors stay aboard.” 32 So the soldiers cut the ropes to the lifeboat and let it drift away.33 Just as day was dawning, Paul urged everyone to eat. “You have been so worried that you haven’t touched food for two weeks,” he said. 34 “Please eat something now for your own good. For not a hair of your heads will perish.”
This morning, I woke up and I’ve been in the Book of Acts. And in Acts 27, the Apostle Paul encouraged the other prisoners on the boat to eat because they hadn’t eaten for the last two weeks out of worry about what would happen to them. I created a post about helping in times of need when the storm hits.
I’ve been on this journey for almost four years coming this September. And to be honest, I’ve had things said to me that actually tore me down more than they encouraged me. And I really feel led to just create a post or a blog talking about things that you could say to a grieving parent mother or father but also things that one might be able to do to help them within the first 48 hours, the first month, or even the first year. However long the Lord leads you to help and assist.
Because I’m telling you right now, a little can go a long way.
Care packages are needed. For some, they may look different. The period of time that one does it might be shorter than another family might require. But that would be my ultimate thing. I’ve spoken about this before in a past blog about how some church members stepped in and provided meals for me and my children every Friday and Monday for a month.
Even as I think back about it now, it was only the Lord because I don’t even remember the first 48 hours except for the pain that I felt and the void that I felt knowing that I wouldn’t hear Josh’s voice again. Realizing that a choice had been made for me that wasn’t theirs to decide.
Oftentimes, one might not know what to do. But I’ll tell you what helped me.
Meals were a highlight or the first one, I would say. Because I had younger kids and I knew that I needed to provide for them, but sometimes I didn’t have the strength. So I would say dropping off cases of water, purchasing a fruit platter that a parent or a caregiver could place on the table before dinner arrives. I would even say dropping off food that could be reheated, or even a $50 Uber card or a gift card to order food.
I can’t stress how many times I ordered out after Josh died, just because not only does grief take a toll mentally and emotionally, but it takes a toll physically. Even now, there are days when I’m just completely drained. And I thank God that I live in a time where food is a convenience now that I don’t have to stress about it. If I wake up and become exhausted earlier than I intended, I know I could order pizza.
Even providing household items such as body wash, toilet paper, bread to make lunch for the remaining children that are in the house, socks, or offering to pick up and drop off laundry to the laundromat, I can’t express how that helped me.
I remember one day so vaguely. It was literally after we buried him. My children were home, and I looked at the basket of laundry, and I just felt defeated. And I sat at the top of my stairs, and I remember the Lord saying to me, “What would make life easier right now?” And I said to the Lord, “They need their laundry washed for school, but I just don’t have it in me to do it.” And the Lord just kind of dropped in my heart: just drop it off. And to this day, it was the best $90 that I spent.
I’m creating this post because I know sometimes one might want to know what they can do. I would say: ask what they need. And even if you don’t get a reply, just drop something off. Just drop something off. Drop something off clean, drop something off warm, and drop something off essential.
Here Are Some Simple Yet Powerful Ways You Can Help a Grieving Parent:
Sometimes we overthink what support should look like. But in moments of deep grief, it’s often the small, thoughtful acts that bring the greatest relief. If you’re unsure of what to do, consider these practical ways to show love:
- Drop off ready-to-eat meals or snacks – Something warm or simple they don’t have to think about can make all the difference.
- Provide household essentials – Items like body wash, toilet paper, paper towels, or laundry detergent can quietly lift a burden.
- Offer to handle errands or childcare – Picking up groceries, driving kids to school, or even just sitting with them can bring comfort.
- Give a grocery or food delivery gift card – This allows the family to choose what they need when they need it.
- Do a laundry drop-off/pick-up – Taking care of something as routine as washing clothes can be a huge help when energy is low.
- Deliver fruit trays or bottled water – Quick and healthy options that can be grabbed between tears and exhaustion, especially if there are siblings in the household, a little goes a long way.
The Bible talks about how it’s better to give than to receive. And sometimes the small things or what seems small to one, are so overlooked.
In closing, I want to leave you with this reminder:
The storm may come one that shakes you, one that makes it seem like all is lost.
But the same God who protected and provided for the men on the boat with Paul is the same God today.
He sees you. He is with you. And He will provide. Father, I ask that You provide exceedingly and abundantly for our next. Not just what we expect, but above what we can even ask or imagine.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Written by Felisha – The Carpenter’s Mother