2 Timothy 3:16-17- 16 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:17 That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.
Its Tuesday, March 29, 2022, 7:09 PM to be exact and I am here laying on my bed relieved that the day has ended. I am telling you that this is something I never want to experience again, and I will not in the Mighty Name of Jesus. This journey has been a lot to deal with, but I am so thankful that the Lord is my strength in times of tiredness. It is so crazy how some words sound exactly how they feel. Grief, it just sounds and feels disgusting.
In my last post, I mentioned that I had gone back to work late last week but I was grateful that the weekend came quickly, and I was able to get rest. But once Sunday night came, I began to feel a little pressure knowing that the following day I would have to do it all over again and my mind just went into to what I like to call Grind mode.
You see, and this is just my opinion from being raised in a West Indian home (my mother is of Jamaican descent, emotions and feelings are not something really talked about. When my mom was alive, and things would happen she would always say “cry if you need to (Tan up) which means stand up and do what you need to do. Which I still do fully agree with but, what about the part where you are able to feel what you are feeling and sit in it for a while I believe some experiences do require REST.
On Monday afternoon I was having a conversation with one of my closest friends and I said to her that I feel like Elijah from the Bible when he was running for his life and sat down in the cave and said to God “I have had more than my share.” I honestly sometimes feel like I have been fighting a battle. Losing Joshua has been very hard to deal with.
But then something happened later that night after I had made dinner that not only encouraged me but strengthen me and reaffirmed that God has me right in the palm of his hand. The Lord said to me while I was eating put on a sermon from Dr. Matthew Stevenson and go two weeks back. So, I grabbed my convertor went on YouTube, and started to play the message. Immediately within seconds of him speaking He had my attention based on the Bible verse he was preaching from. I heard him say he is reading from 1 King 19 and for those that do not know this passage this is the story of when Elijah fled from Jezebel and sat under the tree and said to God “I have had enough’.
Watching that sermon really spoke to me, I was able to gain gradual insight but most important strategies to help me cope in my season of grief but what I also found extremely helpful was some of the strategies and questions that he posed to his listeners to ask themselves.
The Sermon’s Name is The Juniper Tree Preached by Apostle Matthew Stevenson, and it is on YouTube.
Below are some key notes that I took based on Apostle’s teaching. All credit belongs to him seeing that these are the words he spoke infused by the Holy Spirit, I hope you enjoy.
I learned that prayer does not always stop pain and for me this was something that I needed to hear. I really struggled with this after Joshua died and it was also one of the questions that I had for God. I remember the day that I got the news that Joshua had passed, and I thought about the night before and remember that it had been the ONLY NIGHT that I did not pray before going to bed and for a while, I wonder if this was the reason that it had happened. Was it my fault that I did not ask for protection for him? I now know that this was a lie but to be honest for a while I blamed myself.
I discovered that some Pain is assigned to your purpose, now here me I am not saying that losing someone is worth it. But what I am saying is that a lot of times it takes something unexpected to happen to draw out a certain STRENGTH and ENDURANCE that we did not know we have. We should also come to terms that unfortunately pain is a part of life. No matter how hard we try, how educated we are or how much money we have in our bank accounts we cannot and will not escape it. But what we can do, and this is what I learned from Apostle’s teaching is we can put a Pain Plan into place.
Pain Plan Points
- First step is knowing that Pain should not be uncomfortable to talk about and having this plan is good seeing that pain will come again.
- What will you do when in pain?
- Who will you talk to when in pain?
- Who do you have in your circle to lean on when in pain?
- How long will you choose to be in pain? (John 5:8 Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.”)
- What will be your prevention plan for those that turn to other methods to ease the pain?
Pain is not an easy thing to deal with especially when dealing with the loss of a loved one. But we should never allow the pain from grief to cause us to backslide or turn to the wrong places for comfort and healing.
Last week while praying the Lord said to me HEALING is available at the well (The fountain of life). Matthew 11:28-30 we read Jesus telling us this “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”.
Having sound-minded people in your corner that can recognize your triggers/moods is a wonderful thing to also have. Whenever my friend hears in my voice that I am having an off day she will tell me “Felisha goes drink some tea and lie down” do not try to steal this it has already been copyrighted. Working out has also been a great outlet for me, so I would encourage those now that the weather is getting warmer to go for a jog when they sense certain emotions trying to set in. Remember that God is Omnipresent and knew that whatever situation you facing was going to happen and has already put a plan in place to help you.
Philippians 1:6 says, “Confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.” This means that God is going to complete the works in your life that he has started. So today I ask my readers this question will you allow him to step in? Will you allow him to tend to your wounds? Will you allow him to stand in the gap and take the heavy burden that you are carrying that you really were not meant to?
Sometimes that help will come in the form of someone just asking you if there is anything you need. Apostle Stevenson said, “Do not walk away from your help in doing so you limit yourself.”
We must remember that one person can not do life alone especially not in grief and if this were the way that it was meant to be then there would be one person here on this earth, but this is not the case and that is why we having a community is so important.
In 1 King 19:6, after Elijah had laid down under the tree, The lord came to him and said arise and eat. Meaning take my gift of healing for this journey called life for it is not over and know that I will be your strength for the rest of your time.
Yes, Joshua is gone, and some days are harder than others but the fact that I am still here means that it is not over for me. I want to encourage someone today to get up and eat, knowing that your journey is not over as well. Apostle Steven also said that “Hopelessness is not a place that the Lord wants us to be in because sometimes it can lead to destructive behavior “that we know our loved ones that have gone on would not want us to be in.
Joshua was a happy kid and I know that he would not want me sitting home wrapped up in my Aqua blanket feeling down. It is easier said than done but I am asking you to take that step and not let this moment of grief cause you to not live again.
So, ARISE AND EAT and know that GOD is on your side walking alongside you to help you to get back to your Healthy and wealthy place.
Well Until next time, stay blessed, and remember God is on your side!!!
#Joshuasmom
#JUSTICEFORJOSHUABENNETT