Lord, You are good, and Your mercy endureth forever is a praise that I will continually have on my mouth. But there are days when I must ask God to give me the strength to utter this, and this morning is one of those days.
“Broken but not ashamed” is what God spoke to me this morning as I helped the kids get ready for school. So much has happened since Joshua’s passing, lick after lick, kick after kick, but God has kept giving me the strength to get up and keep on moving.
This post is for the ones that feel like, “What is the point?” The point is what is spoken in Psalm 139:13-14
For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are His works. I can say without a shadow of a doubt that if it had not been for the Lord who was on my side, I would have given up. Life didn’t stop when Joshua died. I have to keep moving, allowing my heart to be open and wounded over and over again by life and all that it brings, but I have a strength now that I never had before because marvelous are His works.
Marvelous is an adjective describing something that causes wonder or astonishment, or is of the highest, superior quality. It is frequently used to express high praise for exceptional things, like an excellent performance or an astonishing event.
I have two choices in life: one, to believe the lies of the enemy, or to do what 2 Corinthians 10:3-6 says, which is to cast down imaginations and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.
I have to keep having faith and trusting God, remembering that He will use what was meant to break me. I often talk about perspective, and this is one thing that has really helped me grieve and heal at the same time: being able to look at a thing, see what it is to me, but allow God to show me what I am not seeing.
One thing that I have learned is that being broken is a beautiful thing because it gives room for God to put things back together in a way that can’t be broken again.
Joshua’s death tried to break me, but God is healing me, teaching me how beautiful life really is and not to take time with your loved ones for granted.
Friendships and relationships have ended, but they taught me that what’s not for me will leave, making room for who God desires to be there.
Career paths were chosen, but God always has more to birth if you will allow Him to direct your path. Don’t be afraid of being broken; be afraid of remaining stagnant.
Father, in the name of Jesus, marvelous are Your works. I don’t like how the story has played out, but I love You and know that You love me. Today I release the past hurt, pain, and disappointment again and give You room to show up and show off because only You can do what has never been done before.
Love,
The Carpenter’s Mother
